My SOLUS 500R story
Printed From: Carpet Cleaning Forum
Category: Carpet Cleaners Discussion
Forum Name: Portable Carpet Steam Cleaning Machines
Forum Description: Discuss anything relating to portable carpet cleaning machines
URL: https://www.kleenkuip.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=5084
Printed Date: 22/November/2024 at 4:40pm Software Version: Web Wiz Forums 12.06 - https://www.webwizforums.com
Topic: My SOLUS 500R story
Posted By: MBCC
Subject: My SOLUS 500R story
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 1:16am
I want to share my story as a new professional carpet cleaner operating as a sole proprietor. Hopefully some of you may find answers in what I have gone through.
It started 2 months ago. I was sitting on the couch and a Rug Doctor infomercial came on and within an hour I ordered a Wide-Track machine with the idea of just using it at home, instead of renting. Over the next few days I decided to research Carpet Cleaning as a profession. And discovered a wealth of information at the Carpet and Rug Institute website (CRI). Since truck mounts were out of my financial reach, I looked for Portable Machines that could clean just as well and found one: The SOLUS 500 mfr by U.S. Products. The first portable carpet deep extractor to receive a Gold Rating from CRI. It only weighs 110 pounds and is very user friendly. 500 psi, inline heater, 212 degrees at the wand tip. Low moisture design 12 gallon capacity / 9 gallon recovery tank. Automatic shut off prevents overfill of the recovery tank. Dual, top mounted 3 stage vacuums provide superior water recovery and carpets fully dry in less than 4 hours at 70 degree's. It operates on parallel circuits with a 2000 watt heater. And best of all, it slides easily in and out of my Chevrolet Silvarado truck bed with camper shell. Enough about my love for this machine and onto market research and start-up costs;
Market research I put together a business model and spent about a week researching operating costs and business practices; How much do I charge?, Licenses, Insurance, Cleaning Supplies, Competition pricing; number of competitors, customer base, service area, advertising and Chamber of Commerce benefits, and Tech Support.
How Much Do I Charge? This is a two-step process. First I estimated my operating costs based on phone calls with my insurance company and my suppliers. I asked how much BULK cleaning supplies costs and was happy with a 40 percent discount for orders over $500.00 (reg price). That knocked it down to over 300 bucks. Then I calculated full strength dilution and application rates. For me, my estimate came down to 2 cents of cleaning supply per square foot. Throw in insurance and a slight business impound account, my total operating costs came to 4.5 cents per square foot for every 500,000 square feet cleaned. Next I called the competition... who all charged by room, which averaged between 20 and 30 dollars. The cheapest they were charging was 20 cents a square foot. I set my price at 12.5 cents a square foot... which translates into a 64% profit margin. TIP: Base pricing on your actual operating costs and not on what everyone else is charging, Easier for sole proprietorships than those with payroll.
My FIRST contract: I put this here because Before my SOLUS Machine arrived I already set up a demonstration at a nearby military base. It was easier than I thought. After I knew what to charge, I called the service manager, described my service, told him how much I charged per square foot, and HE called me back. The same day my machine arrived with a tech to train me, I was at the base demonstrating my unit. They gave me a contract on the spot! The machine performed great! (I later found out through back channels their current carpet cleaner was charging 130 dollars a house. My price: $92.66)
LICENSES: Since I operate from home I had to apply for a Home Business Permit through the city. I also required a business license for every city within my service area. (The base requires no business license... but did require FULL INSURANCE!)
Insurance: Base required workers comp, vehicle coverage and liability coverage. TIP: The State Compensation Insurance Fund had the best deal on workers comp.
Cleaning Supplies: Find a good company that offers discounts for bulk purchases. I recommend starting with 2 gallons of everything (spot removers, acidic stain removers... etc) and 20 gallons of High Traffic. You can always tailor your stock later based on usage. My high use items: Rug Doctor High Traffic (only $7.77 a gallon at 4:1 mix ratio); SURTEC Universal spotter ($17.39 a gallon at 10:1 mix ratio); Enzymes and odor remover. I have about 13 others that get sparse use.
Advertising: It works but takes time. I run a 2x3 ad in our local paper twice a week (distribution is 24 thousand papers). The first month no calls. After I cleaned up my ad and offered a 15% Spring Cleaning discount the calls started coming. I will be lucky if I break even from Ad costs... so be careful and create an eye catching Ad. Of course having an EXCELLENT Ad rep is a huge help. I havent tried yellow pages. Other business is generated by..... Chamber of Commerce >>>
Chamber of Commerce: Highly recommended. Become a member and they list you in their directory. They also gave me a member listing... and footwork did the rest. Make sure you have a collared uniform made and business cards >>> LOOK SHARP! When you enter a business introduce your business and state you are a member of the Chamber of Commerce and will provide a discount for contracted services. It works. I have 2 contracts now.
SOLUS 500 tech support: Ok... one final gloat. The Solus 500 is mfr by U.S. Products in Idaho (Made in the USA!) but is only sold through distributors. My distributor has an area rep who provides FREE tech support for my machine. I called him once when the Vacs wouldn't turn on only to discover the "float" kill switch located in the recovery tank was in the up position. He saved me major embarrassment while on a job. TIP: When buying one ask how much the DEMO model is. It saved me 25%! It was only used for 3 months as a demo model only. It runs great. I opened it up to look at the circuitry and was impressed.
I still haven't used my RD wide-track. I'm thinking I'll send it back or keep it as an emergency back-up.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Replies:
Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 1:56am
So you've been in business less than 2 months and you've never cleaned with a truckmount???
I can understand your enthusiasm with your new found profession, but until you get a few years under your belt, you hardly qualify as an expert. You actually sound like a salesperson for US Products
You need to try a few different methods, not just hwe with a portable. You also need to have someone with a lower price take a few jobs away from you. You will then realize that customers who buy from you cuz you're the lowest will also buy from the next guy that comes along with a price lower than yours. Welcome to reality
Sorry, I'm not trying to rain on your parade, just letting you know that there is a lot more to this business than it may appear to you at this point
-------------
The STD Meter
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 2:02am
Don't blame my early success based on your years of getting it right. And don't accuse me of being a sales person. Only egotistical morons would trample on a success story like mine. You're not raining on my parade buddy.. I am a retired Naval officer with 25 years of management experience and logistics. I know how to get things done. My contracts speak for themselves. They fired the TM guy at the base so what does that tell me? You paid way too much for a TM. And yes, I find your reply just a bit arrogant and insulting.
And at 12.5 cents a square foot I dare anyone to beat that price. (But in truth I provide a 15% discount to contracts... so it's actually 9.9 cents a square foot.) Good luck on that one.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 2:18am
Well la dee f**king da smart ass. WTF do I care about your previous profession. It has nothing to do with this one. You know how to get things done in the navy. This ain't the navy dumbass
Like I said, when you lose a few jobs by price, you'll get a reality check. And you will
As far as what I paid for my truckmounts, you have no clue. Maybe you paid more for your porty
I wasn't trying to insult you in my last post, however, now that you asked for it, I'll oblige
-------------
The STD Meter
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 2:39am
The Navy taught me a lot. And failure wasn't a subject.
You missed the point of my post. It was to share a success story to encourage others. I don't have a beef with your TM. But they do costs a lot and cost more to operate than a portable machine.
I could have put myself in debt buying a TM. But I chose to buy a portable that cleans on par with a TM. That might throw you a bit. But the reality is your TM pushes more water and extracts well. My portable pushes less water and extracts well. The fact that a TM pushes more water doesn't make it better. Proper application of High traffic solution as a pre-spray and use of spotters works excellent with 500 psi Hot water extraction. And customers don't see a difference in performance. So why wouldn't you use a machine that is cheaper to operate?
I know you have put many years under your belt in this business. And you are commenting on experience. I can respect that. But don't fall in that trap of thinking your way is the only way. You will lose every time... especially with technology advances.
And the reason I might sound like a salesman is because I truly love my machine and can attest to it's results. I have seen what a TM can do and to be honest couldn't see any difference with the end result.
And the reason you are losing jobs by price is because your operating costs are higher. You really think anyone can under price 9.9 Cents a square foot? How much are you charging?
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: Ken_Is_OK
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 7:07am
Sir Yes Sir
Your portable exhausts through the recovery tank so what does that do for the indoor air quality in the house you are cleaning?
If you clean cat piss in one house you had better disinfect your recovery tank top to bottom before going on to the next house. Can this be done properly? probably not. (you can't clean a Mytee)
also why use chems that the customer can buy at any grocery store?
next question: What kind of dry vac do you use?
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 10:13am
Ken,
You guys are a bunch of diehards... but thats Ok. I am your competition and will be happy to answer your questions.
- Portable exhaust isn't an issue. My recovery tank has a screw-cap viewport that doesn't allow vapors or mist to escape.
- I clean my recovery tank after each use in mere minutes: First drain it. Put 2 gallons of hot water mixed with enzymes in the feed tank. Remove the wand. Turn the vacs on. Place the hose inside the feed tank to clean the unit. If you use enzymes then you know they kill urine bacteria.
- I don't use grocery store chems. SURTEC is an independent professional product supplier. Rug Doctor has a commercial line of products not sold in grocery stores. I manage my inventory by it's usage: I stock 7 spotters; 2 pre-sprays; 1 deep clean shampoo; 6 tank additives; 2 enzymes; 1 protectant. 19 products total. None sold at grocery stores.
- My customers are happy with the 4 hour dry time my machine provides. However, IF they ask for a quicker dry time, I would use Quick Dry Tank additive combined with a Viking Blower to reduce drying to 30 minutes.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 10:43am
MBCC wrote:
The Navy taught me a lot. And failure wasn't a subject.
You missed the point of my post. It was to share a success story to encourage others. I don't have a beef with your TM. But they do costs a lot and cost more to operate than a portable machine.
I could have put myself in debt buying a TM. But I chose to buy a portable that cleans on par with a TM. That might throw you a bit. But the reality is your TM pushes more water and extracts well. My portable pushes less water and extracts well. The fact that a TM pushes more water doesn't make it better. Proper application of High traffic solution as a pre-spray and use of spotters works excellent with 500 psi Hot water extraction. And customers don't see a difference in performance. So why wouldn't you use a machine that is cheaper to operate?
I know you have put many years under your belt in this business. And you are commenting on experience. I can respect that. But don't fall in that trap of thinking your way is the only way. You will lose every time... especially with technology advances.
And the reason I might sound like a salesman is because I truly love my machine and can attest to it's results. I have seen what a TM can do and to be honest couldn't see any difference with the end result.
And the reason you are losing jobs by price is because your operating costs are higher. You really think anyone can under price 9.9 Cents a square foot? How much are you charging? |
That's why I said that I understand you enthusiasm. We've all been there. I used portables for 17 years before I bought my first tm. We still use a portable on some jobs. There are other methods as well which can provide excellent results on commercial carpets at low cost.
There is also something to be said for being debt free. I respect you for that.
It's true that you can achieve similar results with a portable, but it will take more time. Time is money in this biz. The faster you can go(and still achieve good results), the more you'll make.
We don't just use a tm, so we're not a one method company. Different methods are required, depending on a number of factors. Hopefully you wiil learn that early and offer your customers the best method based on their needs.
As far as pricing goes, it depends on where you live, what your costs are, what method you are using, how much profit you want to make, etc. We have competitors that will clean commercial carpet for under 5 cents. We charge between 8 and 24 cents
-------------
The STD Meter
|
Posted By: Ken_Is_OK
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 10:54am
uh-oh he doesnt dry vac first!
and he's not IICRC certified.
hoorah
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 11:13am
Cmaster: I would have purchased a TM if money wasn't an object. Bigger has got to be better, right? But fortunately my portable is doing a good job for my customers. And it's all about how much they are willing to spend, especially businesses that have tight budgets.
In a way I got lucky. I recognize that. The beauty about working with military housing is they replace carpets every 5 or 6 years. If my services can extend their carpet life to a 6-7 year replacement schedule they save big bucks. And that sir, is my goal.
You bet Time is money. They are one in the same. Google Randy Pausch - Time Management (lecture from NOV 2007 given at University of Virginia). Thats how I operate. In doing my research of standard practices within this business I couldn't find a Standard Unit larger than a square foot. When you're dealing with a million square feet or higher it needs to be condensed. So in my business model I determined that 1000 square feet would equal one unit. And I based my costs per unit. That enabled me to set up a program calculator to monitor inventory levels, units remaining, and accurately track cleaning costs used per job. Annually, the minimum number of units needed is 75 to remain in business. 650 is my sole operating range. Anything higher than that would require an employee at 12 dollars per hour. I am currently at 540 (with a 100 +/- fudge factor) under 2 contracts. I guess this is where my enthusiasm comes from.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 11:16am
Ken: I dry vac. Who doesn't? Its a hoover. But I guess thats sub-standard too.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 11:44am
It definitely sounds like you have the calculated your cost factor. Very important to know that.
You should also look at taking some training courses. These can shorten your learning curve. You can also meet some of your peers and pick up some helpful tips/tricks which could be very valuable down the road. Depending on where you live, your local supplier may be able to help you with that.
-------------
The STD Meter
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 12:04pm
Thanks for the good advice. I'll look into that. 90 percent of my research thus far has been internet based and I could definitely use more in the field observation / experience to boost my working knowledge. Who wants to be a internet weenie?
My newbie mistake. I purchased a carpet rotary buffer for restoration thinking it would be good to use on matted down areas on medium pile. The salesman sold me on it but I discovered that medium pile increased torque enough to pop 20 amp breakers. I soon discovered an alternate cheap solution: Deep clean in a bucket with stiff brush and muscle grease. It lifts the pile nicely prior to extraction. Practical for jobs with 100 square feet or less of restorative work. The buffer isn't exactly a waste of money... but I don't have any customers with low pile and my machine isn't getting any use. Im really not interested in hard surfaces, but I think I'll keep it in case it's needed for a large low-pile restoration job.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 12:22pm
A 175 rpm machine is a very valuable tool for commercial carpet. You will use it once you realize the limitations of your equipment. We use one on some nasty jobs in conjunction with our tm's.
There is good money in hard surface cleaning, so don't rule it out. We have done it for years and if you have the equipment, why not? All you need is some training.
-------------
The STD Meter
|
Posted By: Ken_Is_OK
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 6:10pm
With the correct pad or bonnet you won't pop breakers.
Try a FiberPlus pad or sometimes called FiberEase and use a chemical called Punch or ReleasIt http://www.excellent-supply.com/ - http://www.excellent-supply.com/
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 9:34pm
Oh God help me- another blowhard newbie, gonna lowball some poor bastard to the poorhouse that's worked for years to build a business on price. Anyone else ever watch that show?
|
Posted By: Ken_Is_OK
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 9:50pm
screw or get screwed.
you think Captain Morgan cares that he just took all that food off another mans plate?
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 25/May/2008 at 10:12pm
Don't go knockin Captain Morgan now... best rum on the market.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 26/May/2008 at 1:25am
MBCC wrote:
I want to share my story as a new professional carpet cleaner operating as a sole proprietor. Hopefully some of you may find answers in what I have gone through.
It started 2 months ago. I was sitting on the couch and a Rug Doctor infomercial came on and within an hour I ordered a Wide-Track machine with the idea of just using it at home, instead of renting. Over the next few days I decided to research Carpet Cleaning as a profession. And discovered a wealth of information at the Carpet and Rug Institute website (CRI). Since truck mounts were out of my financial reach, I looked for Portable Machines that could clean just as well and found one: The SOLUS 500 mfr by U.S. Products. The first portable carpet deep extractor to receive a Gold Rating from CRI.(How much ransom did that cost?) It only weighs 110 pounds and is very user friendly. 500 psi, inline heater, 212 degrees at the wand tip(Bull$hit Try it with a real heat/lie detector). Low moisture( No water flow) design 12 gallon capacity / 9 gallon recovery tank. Automatic shut off prevents overfill of the recovery tank.(Innovative!- Duh - they all come that way) Dual, top mounted 3 stage vacuums provide superior water recovery and carpets fully dry in less than 4 hours at 70 degree's.(Stick a moisture detector on that and tell me again?) It operates on parallel circuits with a 2000 watt heater(Not even near enough wats to maintain heat for more than a blink). And best of all, it slides easily in and out of my Chevrolet Silvarado truck bed with camper shell. Enough about my love for this machine and onto market research and start-up costs;
Market research I put together a business model and spent about a week researching operating costs and business practices; How much do I charge?, Licenses, Insurance, Cleaning Supplies, Competition pricing; number of competitors, customer base, service area, advertising and Chamber of Commerce benefits, and Tech Support.
How Much Do I Charge? This is a two-step process. First I estimated my operating costs based on phone calls with my insurance company and my suppliers. I asked how much BULK cleaning supplies costs and was happy with a 40 percent discount for orders over $500.00 (reg price). That knocked it down to over 300 bucks. Then I calculated full strength dilution and application rates. For me, my estimate came down to 2 cents of cleaning supply per square foot. Throw in insurance and a slight business impound account, my total operating costs came to 4.5 cents per square foot for every 500,000 square feet cleaned. Next I called the competition... who all charged by room, which averaged between 20 and 30 dollars. The cheapest they were charging was 20 cents a square foot. I set my price at 12.5 cents a square foot... which translates into a 64% profit margin. TIP: Base pricing on your actual operating costs and not on what everyone else is charging, Easier for sole proprietorships than those with payroll.
My FIRST contract: I put this here because Before my SOLUS Machine arrived I already set up a demonstration at a nearby military base. It was easier than I thought. After I knew what to charge, I called the service manager, described my service, told him how much I charged per square foot, and HE called me back. The same day my machine arrived with a tech to train me, I was at the base demonstrating my unit. They gave me a contract on the spot! The machine performed great! (I later found out through back channels their current carpet cleaner was charging 130 dollars a house. My price: $92.66)
LICENSES: Since I operate from home I had to apply for a Home Business Permit through the city. I also required a business license for every city within my service area. (The base requires no business license... but did require FULL INSURANCE!)
Insurance: Base required workers comp, vehicle coverage and liability coverage. TIP: The State Compensation Insurance Fund had the best deal on workers comp.
Cleaning Supplies: Find a good company that offers discounts for bulk purchases. I recommend starting with 2 gallons of everything (spot removers, acidic stain removers... etc) and 20 gallons of High Traffic. You can always tailor your stock later based on usage. My high use items: Rug Doctor High Traffic (only $7.77 a gallon at 4:1 mix ratio); SURTEC Universal spotter ($17.39 a gallon at 10:1 mix ratio); Enzymes and odor remover. I have about 13 others that get sparse use.
Advertising: It works but takes time. I run a 2x3 ad in our local paper twice a week (distribution is 24 thousand papers). The first month no calls. After I cleaned up my ad and offered a 15% Spring Cleaning discount the calls started coming. I will be lucky if I break even from Ad costs... so be careful and create an eye catching Ad. Of course having an EXCELLENT Ad rep is a huge help. I havent tried yellow pages. Other business is generated by..... Chamber of Commerce >>>
Chamber of Commerce: Highly recommended. Become a member and they list you in their directory. They also gave me a member listing... and footwork did the rest. Make sure you have a collared uniform made and business cards >>> LOOK SHARP! When you enter a business introduce your business and state you are a member of the Chamber of Commerce and will provide a discount for contracted services. It works. I have 2 contracts now.
SOLUS 500 tech support: Ok... one final gloat. The Solus 500 is mfr by U.S. Products in Idaho (Made in the USA!) but is only sold through distributors. My distributor has an area rep who provides FREE tech support for my machine. (Hint- they all should do that.)I called him once when the Vacs wouldn't turn on only to discover the "float" kill switch located in the recovery tank was in the up position. He saved me major embarrassment while on a job. TIP: When buying one ask how much the DEMO model is. It saved me 25%! It was only used for 3 months as a demo model only. It runs great. I opened it up to look at the circuitry and was impressed.
I still haven't used my RD wide-track. I'm thinking I'll send it back or keep it as an emergency back-up.( Keep it!!!) they paid a fortune to the blind mice that figure that POS dererves CRI certs! |
And for my next post:
-------------
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 26/May/2008 at 1:38am
Ken_Is_OK wrote:
screw or get screwed.
you think Captain Morgan cares that he just took all that food off another mans plate? |
No- but I thought I could do the same thing, went broke and learned a lot of lessons. However, carry on by all means. In 6 months the equipment will be for sale, glorious plans all asunder, broke and the bitter taste that just won't wash out. Or, it might be a major success story. It's just been my experience that you don't charge enough to do the job, pay yourself and leave a bit for profit and upkeep, than good luck.12.5 a square at 250 - 300 square an hour, max for a porty to do a good job and prep = 31.25 to 37.50 an hour. Now let's say there's a tail wind and he hits 400- he's at 50 an hour- BUT ONLY ON THE JOB SITE. Add employees at that rate? Don't make me laugh. Ok- let's pay for chems, gas and vehicle maintenance , insurances (2 mil liability, workers comp, vehicle) time not earning driving and setting up on jobs, tearing down, etc. How about time spent banking . billing and keeping the books? Paying an accountant?Now the good man deserves to pay himself a wage, but it sure isn't going to be much.
"I am a retired Naval officer with 25 years of management experience and
logistics. I know how to get things done. My contracts speak for
themselves. They fired the TM guy at the base so what does that tell
me? You paid way too much for a TM. And yes, I find your reply just a
bit arrogant and insulting."
Well little buddy- you're our plebe now and I might suggest you sit back and listen to General CMaster and Admiral Willy and to come here with 30 seconds of experience and 50 years of arrogance is damned insulting, and deserves a good ol' fashioned keel hauling. As you were sailor.15 days in the brig!
-------------
|
Posted By: Ken_Is_OK
Date Posted: 26/May/2008 at 6:49am
See that's the problem, Giligan gets a pension from the USGOV so the carpet cleanin money is just so he can afford some Leafs tickets and a two-four on the long week end
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 26/May/2008 at 9:49am
But how long will he last when all his "subsidy/pension" go into his business to keep it afloat when reality sets in? What prep for the lean months? He's got more holes in that plan than a screen door.
I may seem to be a hardass on the guy, but the combination of utter ignorance and breathtaking arrogance needs some cold water on it. If he has any smarts, he'd do well to listen to a few of us that went through all the hoops and dances before. However, gathering by the posts, he's working for U.S. Products or is completely brainwashed or just plain old STUPID.
-------------
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 26/May/2008 at 11:03am
Willy: You are obviously a genius. I'll revert to my first rule of battle: Never wrestle with a PIG. You both get dirty and the PIG enjoys it.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: Ken_Is_OK
Date Posted: 26/May/2008 at 1:35pm
You Can't Handle The Truth
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 26/May/2008 at 9:29pm
MBCC wrote:
Willy: You are obviously a genius. I'll revert to my first rule of battle: Never wrestle with a PIG. You both get dirty and the PIG enjoys it. |
Wow. Snappy. Were you a Rear Admiral? Or in the Village People?
-------------
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 28/May/2008 at 9:32pm
Willy wrote: [/QUOTE] It's just been my experience that you don't charge enough to do the job, pay yourself and leave a bit for profit and upkeep, than good luck.12.5 a square at 250 - 300 square an hour, max for a porty.... to do a good job and prep = 31.25 to 37.50 an hour. Now let's say there's a tail wind and he hits 400- he's at 50 an hour- BUT ONLY ON THE JOB SITE. Add employees at that rate? Don't make me laugh...., insurances (2 mil liability, workers comp, vehicle) time not earning driving and setting up on jobs, tearing down, etc. How about time spent banking . billing and keeping the books? Paying an accountant?Now the good man deserves to pay himself a wage, but it sure isn't going to be much. [/QUOTE]
Willy, The problem with your reply is it shows that you blew right through my posting, as in you didn't bother to read it. If you had you would have learned that I operate under a sole proprietorship. Solo. No payroll.
I do my own billing. No accountant. After Cleaning costs, taxes, insurance (3 types: Liability / Auto / Workers comp), misc operating costs (gas, office supplies & maintenance) my profit margin is 64% on every dollar. Thats not low balling. It's all about business Volume.
And where do you get 300 square an hour? With 20 minute breaks maybe. For 1000 SF it takes me 2.5 hours. That includes vacuuming; performing a black light inspection for urine / fecal stains; taking digital pictures of carpet condition (both before & after); applying spotters / or shampooing; applying pre-spray; 10 minute machine set-up; deep extraction at 1 foot per second; 10 minute machine/materials stow; enzyme spray and carpet rake. If you do the math... after operating costs... thats an easy 30 dollars an hour.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 28/May/2008 at 9:49pm
CMASTER: What are you doing for set red dye stains? I was looking into carpet dye kits as a potential solution. Any advice?
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 28/May/2008 at 9:59pm
That depends on the cause. There is a few products on the market, such as red relief that work in some circumstances. I bought a gallon of 30 volume peroxide from the beauty supply store and boost it in the stain with a steamer. Some products are two part and are walk on. Check with Ted or your local supplier. When I have more time I'll give you some info on spot dyeing.
How was that sailor?
-------------
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 28/May/2008 at 11:07pm
The sailor was great. Just not a Village People fan.
I have tried 2 red-stain remover products but they only work best on fresh stains. Set in dye stains are a booger. Did your peroxides work?
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 28/May/2008 at 11:28pm
I hear Cobb's is one of the best although I have no personal experience with it. The next order I place from them I will try it. Right now we use Red Relief from CTI(2part) or Red Vanish from Vac Away(1 part). Both are OK. Nothing seems to work in every situation, so it's sometimes a toss up
I wouldn't get into carpet dying just yet unless you have a real good eye for colour matching
-------------
The STD Meter
|
Posted By: FriendlyHammer
Date Posted: 28/May/2008 at 11:31pm
I go through 2 gallons of Red Vanish per week, mostly because of coffee.
|
Posted By: cmaster
Date Posted: 28/May/2008 at 11:41pm
Quit spilling it and start drinking it
-------------
The STD Meter
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 28/May/2008 at 11:45pm
They work better with a steamer as the heat will activate the product. Always under promise and over deliver. Some products require a steam iron, but I prefer a simple blast steamer. When I have time, I'll give you some tips on dyeing, then you can bleach stains out (on nylon only), nuetralize (with sodium metabisulphite) and add the colour back. Olefin is solution dyed and pretty much bleach safe, wool will disolve with bleach and polyester will turn purple.Dye baths are another story for another evening. Dyes won't strike on olefin or stick through cleanings on polyester and hard to get to strike on some wools. I'm whacked and I have a pile of high rise apartment hallways to get started on tomorrow.- Hey , ya know I could sub that out to you at your full rate, sit on my ass and still make a bundle.
-------------
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 28/May/2008 at 11:46pm
cmaster wrote:
Quit spilling it and start drinking it |
I watch what that crap does to my hands when I don't wear a glove. I couldn't imagine internals.
-------------
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 28/May/2008 at 11:48pm
Footnote:- 2 things will have an affect on a stain . adding oxygen or stripping it out. ( Special thanks to Jim Darling. RIP)
-------------
|
Posted By: Ken_Is_OK
Date Posted: 29/May/2008 at 11:48am
UH OH did he say "rake" LOL
ps. $30/hour will not keep you in biz very long.
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 29/May/2008 at 1:46pm
Ken... It's all about business Volume. You should know that. I am targeting 650 units this year. Thats 65K / 41K profit margin. If you think thats a paltry sum then stay put in Beverly Hills. We don't need your high priced services in rural areas.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: Ken_Is_OK
Date Posted: 29/May/2008 at 3:06pm
I don't live in BH but where I live that is below the poverty level. Sorry.
Hell I WISH I lived on a farm out in no-mans land.
This GTA Rat Race is killing my spirit. The one and only thing anybody cares about is stuffing their pockets with cash.
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 29/May/2008 at 3:16pm
41K is poverty level where you live? And you clean carpets? Did that come by way of a Masters or a PHD? Iffel for ya...
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: Soil Lint Green
Date Posted: 01/June/2008 at 10:00pm
First ask yourself what is your time and experience worth? Mine is worth $150 per hour minimum. Now if I use the ISSA Cleaning Times (an industry standard) and factor in both HWE and vacuuming since nothing I do is for free I get the right price and while it may not keep me busy it makes it worth working. I did the eager-to-get-everything route like anyone when they are new and think they have the secret to conquering the business world and turn the carpet cleaning industry on its ear. Bottom lining is remembering only the bottom line matters, not gross sales. I recommend http://www.npaper.com/CLEANINGTIMES1104.pdf - http://www.npaper.com/CLEANINGTIMES1104.pdf to our newest brother and recommend he re-think his pricing. PERCEIVED values are based on "you get what you pay for". Setting the right price and then knowing how to position the company with its products or services to substantiate that price is worth thriving for.
Man told his wife she was lousy in bed. She stormed out of the house and returned late that evening. "Men pay to have sex with ME!" she said and threw 3 $100 bills plus 1 $5 on the table. She gleaned with pride "And that proves it!!" The husband looked at the $5 bill and asked "who gave you the $5?" to which the wife boasted "THEY ALL DID!"
Get the point?
------------- It's ORY GUN, not OR A GONE. Learn to talk.
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 02/June/2008 at 12:55am
Soil: So in using your analogy, you are nothing but a high priced call girl. I think I'll just keep working the streets. Get the point?
I know about industry standard cleaning times. The point you miss is business volume (different from gross sales). You might charge an arm and a leg and work half as much as I do. Thats fine. Whatever makes you happy. I happen to enjoy working and offering customers a fair price based on my costs of doing business. Another point that you miss is not everyone can afford your 150.00 per hour for carpet cleaning. If that works for you.. God Bless ya!
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: duckcountry
Date Posted: 02/June/2008 at 1:40am
You'll be whistling a different tune at some point MB or you'll become a Wally World greeter. Customers who look for those willing to give it away are loyal to one thing - forever getting the lowest price. But don't you worry. Those of us who do more than make a living at this will never compete for the charity cases you call a customer base. Our customers can afford to care for their carpets and don't treat their homes like dog kennels.
It's your money. You are entitled to burn it all you want. Fact is you will either treat this like a business or continue along the path that leads to a failure to launch. Tell us, based on a 40 hour work week, how do you fair? Seriously, take what you are making in a week (not your 'best' week but your average week) and tell us if a real job is out of the question.
Because at the rate you are going with as little business as you do get at the low prices you charge what you have is NO business, just a hobby.
Must be a charity because yours is a non-profit (after expenses which better include your salary) providing a carpet cleaning service to those who are one paycheck from homelessness.
While SOIL LINT may be a high priced call girl in your words, you according to your own analogy are just the neighborhood tramp willing to give it up for a wink and a nod. Pathetic.
You ain't no Stanley Steemer. You lack the resources and business sense to compete in the low price market. But I bet with your lack of skill and knowledge you can deliver service on par with them. If that works for you.. God Bless ya!
------------- Are you in a high paying business or are you just a self employed low paid grunt who thinks this business provides dignity?
|
Posted By: Soil Lint Green
Date Posted: 02/June/2008 at 1:56am
I am just wondering if he will be saying this is not a good business for his highly evolved skills and insight. When he fails, will he blame himself as he should or blame people and circumstances for his downfall?
SS is not his competition. That honor goes to Rug Doctor.
He seems like a former civil servant of some kind. Amazing how he believes he holds all the answers. Are we seeing the second coming of Joe Polish?
------------- It's ORY GUN, not OR A GONE. Learn to talk.
|
Posted By: duckcountry
Date Posted: 02/June/2008 at 2:44am
I love that "It's all about business volume"
I have GOT to ask - what do you define as rural? Where the daddy walks his son to school because they are both in the third grade? Where is the cost of living so low that your prices make sense? Some third world country?
A world in which the definition of rural is "see poverty" doesn't exist of either side of the mirror Alice. Stop making excuses for a failure to properly set prices. Take a few years and go back to college. Study up on Economics and learn that the reason some people find themselves poor is because they fail to adjust to the changing global economy and nobody cares. They do not comprise any segment of the potential market because they have no capital with which to continue playing. They are a casualty of the so-called war on the middle class not due to anything the rest of us have done but entirely because of what they fail to do.
Is it that the public can't afford a higher price or you have some guilt about living above the masses? Last I checked you don't get into heaven by taking care of the poor and failing to take care of yourself first. If you want to do some charity work simply do that crap on the side apart from your work, not AS you work.
Make it a business or go find a better paying job.
You really need to get real. Do you see anyone else here spouting your words of wisdom? If you go back and do a search over the years here you will find plenty who have, none of which are still here. They got jobs to support their hobby. See, you won't be alone after all. Just keep up with the stinkin thinkin and you too can say "would you like fries with that?"
------------- Are you in a high paying business or are you just a self employed low paid grunt who thinks this business provides dignity?
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 02/June/2008 at 3:42pm
Duck: Didn't you read SOIL LINTs post? He is a high priced call girl by his own analogy. Nothing wrong with it provided he's got the clients.
Based on an average week of 40 hours I gross $2,000.00. Breaks down like this: (12K SF per week / 2,400 SF per day / 12.5 cents SF / 400 SF hr (2 jobs per day / 3.5 hours per job). Of that, 1280.00 is after tax profit and the remaining 720.00 covers everything including taxes, insurance, cleaning supplies, office supplies, machine maintenance and a business growth fund.
You guys are missing something (I think). I operate under a sole proprietorship. With no payroll. That means insurance is cheaper. And my porty is less expensive to operate even using full strength cleaners.
This 40 hour week nets 5K in my pocket. That might be chump change to some but not me. And because I charge a lower rate means I have been able to secure two very nice contracts. Why my business plan has your shorts tied up in knots is really ridiculous. I don't even live close to Beverly Hills. What I charge is right for the local economy. I'm done explaining my business model. Why don't you break yours down for me?
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 02/June/2008 at 3:51pm
Duck: Any neanderthal can toss around insults. Instead of trying to blow your own horn all the time just outline your business model and try engaging in productive discussion.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: FuzzSucker
Date Posted: 02/June/2008 at 5:48pm
I'm sorry how many years have been in business MBCC?
I don't want to butt in, but you seem to be flaunting a "business model" that has yet seen the test of time. Come back in two years and tell about your success story. Until then shut up and listen to some of us folks that have been around a while. You don't have to listen or want to believe everything you hear here, but a lot of it works. Sure there is plenty of sarcasm and some BS to go along with it, but if you don't like it and don't want any advice from some professionals that have been in the industry more than 4 months, then go away. Otherwise stick around and learn something.
Dont reinvent the wheel. Help improve it, but only after you fully understand it. May the force be with you.
------------- http://thepremierclean.com - http://thepremierclean.com | http://carpetcleaning-coloradosprings.com - Colorado Springs Carpet Cleaning
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 02/June/2008 at 6:06pm
Fuzz: One slight problem. I won't "shut up". Ever since I joined this forum with the hopes of sharing a success story it's been nothing but a wheelbarrow full of bullcrap from you and your peers. If this represents your so called "profession" then stick to it. I'll just out perform you and create a "new" professional standard in the industry.
Your experience isn't worth the paper that it's written on without the proper tact to use it. Fact is I have figured out in 4 months what it must have taken you years. You might say thats arrogant. I say it's confidence in the right measure.
And don't worry, I didn't need to re-invent the wheel to get my business started. There wasn't one.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: FuzzSucker
Date Posted: 02/June/2008 at 6:12pm
lol, good luck with that.
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 02/June/2008 at 6:27pm
Luck has nothing to do with it. But maybe for you it does.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: duckcountry
Date Posted: 03/June/2008 at 2:58am
MB - sharing mine or any other businesses plan with you is stupid for three main reasons and hundreds of smaller ones.
1. The good Lord saw fit to give each of us TWO ears and ONE mouth so we could LISTEN twice as much as we talk. You make it a contest between your ears and mouth with the mouth running off hoping to keep up with your ears i.e. any advice we gave you would be falling on deaf ears as we have all seen.
2. The good book says "you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear" meaning since you are at the heart of your 'business' problems nothing will make it a viable business.
3. The good book also says don't cast pearls before swine. And frankly with the way you are trying to hog all of the attention around here as if you were a seasoned professional makes your character flaws obvious.
Bottom line is no one wants to help you survive because even in business the strong survive and the genetic defects are weeded out. Is any of this sinking in yet or like a mule do you require someone hit you harder up the side of your head with a 2x4?
When does your new book come out? 'How I Succeeded To Fail In Business Without Really Learning Anything' should make for short reading.
Grow a brain, shut that diarrhea mouth of yours up and listen for a change. As the good book says 'it is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt'.
And look at this genius - in your 40 hour work week ( as if you actually clean 40 hours every week) I make $6000. Is that obscene? No, we call it business. The purpose of a business is to give back to the community served by creating jobs and not by being all about numero uno. How are you stimulating the economy of the marketplace you serve? You do understand that macro economics is learning to see past the tip of your nose you have stuck up some place we don't care to mention, right?
------------- Are you in a high paying business or are you just a self employed low paid grunt who thinks this business provides dignity?
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 03/June/2008 at 10:04am
blah blah blah. why the way you quote the good book i'm gonna start calling you "mr. goody two shoes". and thanks for sharing your business plan... which by all accounts is the good book. Your business plan relies on miracles.
i piss all over your 6K. since my "gross" is 8K, and of that 5,120.00 winds up in my pocket, you find it "worthwhile" to argue over an 880.00 difference. get a friggin life buddy.
so long "mr. goody two shoes"
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: FuzzSucker
Date Posted: 03/June/2008 at 12:30pm
I wouldn't bother responding to him at this point he is obviously either insane or mentally handicapped (potentially both). I don't think anything sinks in with this character. Its probably best we just leave him be to his own devices. He has become openly just plain rude and does not want any help. Just ignore him.
I say good day to you sir.
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 03/June/2008 at 1:12pm
Sucker: Thin skinned? Aw thats Too bad. Here's a thought. Bend over and kiss your own a$$. I sure as heck ain't gonna do it.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: duckcountry
Date Posted: 03/June/2008 at 1:30pm
You're right Fuzz. His attitude is due to his lack of common sense and a heavy reliance on an model he keeps playing 'what-if' with in Excel. He is in a fantasy world with all his favorite storybook characters in lah-lah land. He is already telling us all we are full of BS, next step will be to tell us he found a better crowd to hang out with. We should let him go talk to his new friends Mickey, Minnie and that brainchild Goofy. Does the MBCC stand for Might Become a Carpet Cleaner or possibly Mama's Boy Carpet Cleaning or Me Be Carpet Cleaner?
His true nature came out, we succeeded.
------------- Are you in a high paying business or are you just a self employed low paid grunt who thinks this business provides dignity?
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 03/June/2008 at 3:45pm
Ducks business motto: Vacuum, apply shampoo, lather, rinse with porty, Groom, collect money and leave. Simple enough.
So I suppose this is standard for every job? You should try using spotters and enzymes. And it isn't necessary to shampoo every carpet you encounter. Shampooing medium thick pile is only necessary when it's matted down. Spotters and HT will take care of the rest.
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: duckcountry
Date Posted: 04/June/2008 at 1:39am
How are things at Mo Better Carput Cleeners?
------------- Are you in a high paying business or are you just a self employed low paid grunt who thinks this business provides dignity?
|
Posted By: CCandmore
Date Posted: 04/June/2008 at 7:14am
I think it’s probably Military Base Carpet Cleaner. Let’s see, very little experience touting a business plan, complete with trumpets and halo, which enabled him to beat out a guy using a TM. You don’t suppose being a retired naval officer with 25 years got him that military base contract? Try to make a living off the base for a few years with 12.5 cents per sqft. Then tell me about your business model.
|
Posted By: CCandmore
Date Posted: 04/June/2008 at 7:28am
I'd also like to know how $30 per hour and $41k annually all of a sudden became $8K gross and $5120 net. Maybe I missed something in one of the posts. Is there a special super-secret business model for believers?
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 04/June/2008 at 9:33am
MBCC wrote:
Fuzz: One slight problem. I won't "shut up". Ever since I joined this forum with the hopes of sharing a success story it's been nothing but a wheelbarrow full of bullcrap from you and your peers. If this represents your so called "profession" then stick to it. I'll just out perform you and create a "new" professional standard in the industry.
Your experience isn't worth the paper that it's written on without the proper tact to use it. Fact is I have figured out in 4 months what it must have taken you years. You might say thats arrogant. I say it's confidence in the right measure.
And don't worry, I didn't need to re-invent the wheel to get my business started. There wasn't one. |
Well, there you go. Too arrogant to accept the fact that we collectively might have a bit more insight in the industry than you do. You see little man, a lot of us tried your recipe for disaster, albeit without a fat pension as a fall back on. If you are too stupid or too full of yourself to accept all the years of knowledge and experience, than sail on sailor. Trust me, you'll become bitter and disillusioned in a short while. But then, none of the crew here knows as much as you do, or have any business smarts.
Where can you find pleasure
Search the world for treasure
Learn science technology
Where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
On the land or on the sea
Where can you learn to fly
Play in sports and skin dive
Study oceanography
Sign of for the big band
Or sit in the grandstand
When your team and others meet
In the navy
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
In the navy
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
In the navy
Come on now, people, make a stand
In the navy, in the navy
Can't you see we need a hand
In the navy
Come on, protect the motherland
In the navy
Come on and join your fellow man
In the navy
Come on people, and make a stand
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)
They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit
If you like adventure
Don't you wait to enter
The recruiting office fast
Don't you hesitate
There is no need to wait
They're signing up new seamen fast
Maybe you are too young
To join up today
Bout don't you worry 'bout a thing
For I'm sure there will be
Always a good navy
Protecting the land and sea
In the navy
Yes, you can sail the seven seas
In the navy
Yes, you can put your mind at ease
In the navy
Come on now, people, make a stand
In the navy, in the navy
Can't you see we need a hand
In the navy
Come on, protect the motherland
In the navy
Come on and join your fellow man
In the navy
Come on people, and make a stand
In the navy, in the navy, in the navy (in the navy)
They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit
Who me?
They want you, they want you
They want you as a new recruit
But, but but I'm afraid of water.
Hey, hey look
Man, I get seasick even watchin' it on TV!
They want you, they want you in the navy
Oh my goodness.
What am I gonna do in a submarine?
They want you, they want you in the navy
|
Posted By: Ed Valentine
Date Posted: 04/June/2008 at 10:35am
Now, that was really funny, WILLY, and true in many ways too. You are a true Gentleman and friend.
Great and entertaining comment as usual!!!
cCANDMORE, Thanks for the communication the other day too. I look forward to more in the near future!
BTW, the one most important lesson I have learned over my 37 + years in this Industry is that -----Most experience comes from doing things wrong-but have survived the test of time.-----
Therefore, I always recommend that we put more value into our "elders" and focus more on what they say and recommend. Its one thing to "look ahead" and guess what things will be , but its completely another to "look back" and prove what things were.
Just something to consider......................................(maybe?)
The very best to ALL;
Ed Valentine
cross-american corp.
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 04/June/2008 at 10:48am
Ed, I see a ship headed towards the rocks but the damn admiral refuses to look out of the window and will rely on his charts.
The story changes as it develops holes in the leeward sail. If you take a punt out in the open ocean...... I'm still in awe of the arrogance/ignorance blend. But then again, internet fights....
-------------
|
Posted By: mjd23
Date Posted: 21/May/2009 at 11:35am
Hey guys, if you're interested in cleaning your carpets without hassle, you might want to try this http://www.thehardwarecity.com/?sku=2624518 - high traffic carpet cleaner I stumbled on the internet. I hope this helps. < id="gwProxy" ="">< ="jsCall;" id="jsProxy" ="">
|
Posted By: Superglide Ken
Date Posted: 21/May/2009 at 5:43pm
Yeah, that helps a bunch.
About as much as this
------------- Inventor of the Teflon Wand Glide and the Turboteck Rotary Air Duct Cleaners for TMs.
|
Posted By: sarahg
Date Posted: 15/August/2009 at 4:04am
I've been using the Enforcer Products and it's doing the great. Try it out too: http://www.thehardwarecity.com/?sku=2624518
|
Posted By: Steaminpile
Date Posted: 15/August/2009 at 1:24pm
.12 cents a sq.ft.
------------- A.K.A.
Andy
|
Posted By: MBCC
Date Posted: 04/September/2009 at 1:59am
Hey d**kweeds.... I'm still in business one year after the recession. Â I wonder how many of you poor saps are still around?
------------- "Quality service guaranteed"
|
Posted By: John L
Date Posted: 04/September/2009 at 3:03am
mjd23 wrote:
Hey guys, if you're interested in cleaning your carpets without hassle, you might want to try this http://www.thehardwarecity.com/?sku=2624518 - high traffic carpet cleaner I stumbled on the internet. I hope this helps. < id="gwProxy" ="">< ="jsCall;" id="jsProxy" ="">
|
That will cost about $3 per 1 gal of
prespray.. I dont think so.. It adds
up when you have alot of nasty
carpets to clean taking away from your
bottom line.. The stuff i use comes to
.25cents per gal of prespray which will
clean the nastiest of the nasties easily..
Your cost 12 times as much to use.
In a year your talking thousands of dollars
you could of saved for your family and
kids..
|
Posted By: RIP IT
Date Posted: 04/September/2009 at 3:27am
MBCC wrote:
Hey d**kweeds.... I'm still in business one year after the recession. I wonder how many of you poor saps are still around? |
Just had my best year in 20 years of being in this business, so things aren't too bad . Then again, we aren't in recession in Australia.
------------- Dont treat people like customers. Treat them like friends.
|
Posted By: CCandmore
Date Posted: 07/September/2009 at 12:07am
MBCC wrote:
Hey d**kweeds.... I'm still in business one year after the recession. I wonder how many of you poor saps are still around? |
Thanks for asking. Started out a little up and down with the Recession and media scaring folks. Overall, it has turned out to be a very strong year with significant growth on the commercial side and slower but steady growth on the residential side. I am currently trying to evaluate the market potential for expansion options in my service areas.
How's the Military Base Carpet Cleaning going, besides still being around?
|
Posted By: Just Ol' Willy
Date Posted: 07/September/2009 at 9:43am
MBCC wrote:
Hey d**kweeds.... I'm still in business one year after the recession. I wonder how many of you poor saps are still around? |
NEXT TIME FLUSH TWICE- THIS GIANT TURD DIDN'T GO DOWN
I'm starving and living in a cardboard box down by the river Can you help a brother out?
How's it going rear admiral? Nobody cares, but me. Wait a minute! I don't care either!
FLUSH AGAIN!
-------------
|
|