Customer Service

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die. This is just so

priceless, and so easy to see happening, customer service being what it

is today.

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and

March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then

added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been

$0.00, now is was somewhere around $60.00.

A call was placed to Citibank:

Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges

still apply."

Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank: "Since it is 2 months past due, it already has been."

Me: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report

her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Citibank: "Excuse me?"

Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you--The part about her being

dead?"

Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Me: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges

still apply."

Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Citibank: (Stammer). "Are you her lawyer?"

Me: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)

Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"

Me: "Sure." (Fax number is given)

After they get the fax:

Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more

I can do to help."

Me: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep

billing her. I don't think she will care."

Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."

Me: "Would you like her new billing address?"

Citibank: "That might help."

Me: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Hwy 129, plot number 69."

Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"

Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?" \